Sunday, May 8, 2011

[Thoughts of a Herb] Orks, and a Hijacked Blog - HQ's

Oi! Dis iz Big Mek Zagblitz 'ere, an' I'm gunna write dis 'ere post fur ya gitz! Now, us Orkses like a scrap, and I knowz 'ow ta win 'em! Dis iz wut ya gotta do...

Get out of my blog post, you malicious fungus! Sorry about that readers, one of my Orks must have got at my keyboard. Now, what I wanted to talk to you about was Orks. Now, I am a greenskin at heart, so I think my advice is worth listening to, (if taken with a pinch of salt). So, let's go!

I'm gonna start with the HQ's so, lets go with everyone's favourite, the Warboss!

Hmph. Not me own fave'rit...

Yes, I know, we'll get to you in a minute.

Anyways, the Warboss. Looking at stat line shows him his home: In combat. with up to 6 attacks on the charge un-upgraded, hitting on 3's and wounding on 2's against Space Marines, he is quite the beast.

Now then, options. He can replace the choppa for a big choppa for a strength boost, or a power klaw. I'd go for the power klaw, every time. S10 with 5 attacks is not to be missed.
He can make the slugga/shoota into a combi-rokkit, a combi-skorcha or a twin-linked shoota. Personally, I'd have the combi-skorcha. a one shot S5 flamer template both deals the pain and overcomes that barrier of Orky BS. Twin-linked shoota is good for the points. The combi-rokkit is mediocre at best, as you'll never hit anything.
May replage slugga and choppa for mega-armour? Hmm. You gain the 2+ save and a free TL shoota and powerclaw, but you become slow and purposeful... I'd only take it for Deffwing-style armies.
May have a warbike, ammo runt, attack squig, cybork body, bosspole or 'eavy armour.
Warbike: YES! Nob biker cheese FTW!
Ammo Runt: Only if you really really want the combi-rokkit to have a chance to hit something. Otherwise no.
Attack Squig: A must have. 1 extra attack could be the difference in popping that vehicle or being instant-killed by the lascannon on said vehicle.
Cybork: Yes. An Invulnerable save could save you from the aforementioned lascannon
Bosspole: Depends on the situation, but generally no. If you're leading a squad, the squad should already have a bosspole.
'eavy Armour: Yes. Again, the 4+ save could be the difference of steamrolling a combat, or failing miserably.

Now we go on to...

The Big Meks? Do it now, or I'm gunna smash yer face in!

You're an inch and a half tall. Good luck! I was going on to Big Meks now anyway, so...

Oi! Can I tell da readerz what I'z got?
Ok... If you must...

Alrighty then. Oi! You! Yeah, you, readin' dis! Lissen up! I'z got me some gear, an' I'z gunna tell you 'bout it! Well, first off's I has this big fing on ma back, see? Dat's ma Kustom Force Field, an' it gives me an' me boyz an' me wagons around me some protection, see? So when I'm gettin to da enemy, da enemy can't get ta me, see?An I also got me Burna dere, fer scorchin stuff. But if da enemy comes too close, I can jus' flip da nozzle and cut dem up. Dat's funny when dat happens... But anyways, you can also see me pet squig, yeah? If sum git annoys me, yeah, I let me squig go, an' it bite dere face off. Dat'z well satis'fyin'... I also gotz me a metal bonce of da Painboy, and I found me a good fick set of armour for some more protectin, kay?
O...Kay. So, onto the stats. A Big Mek is basically a Nob *snigger* with one higher leadership. Thrers a few other upgrades you can take, like mega armour, warbikes and such, but really, there's only two reasons that you'd take a Big Mek. One with the Kustom Force Field, and the other with a Shokk Attack Gun, like...

Sumone call fer me?


Yeah, dat's me! I'm Dakkazag!

Oi! Dakkazag! Tell de'se 'ere reader's what you got!

What you blabbering about, Zagblitz? I wus gunna do dat anyways!

Lissen up! I's got here me Shokk Attack Gun. I call it dat becuz de attacks from dis gun is shokkin'. Yeah, sometimes it's a bit dissapointin', but it's alwayz a good larf! I stand at da back wif ma Loota boyz and shoot whatever we want's yeah?

I also got me a burna, of one ov dem fish-'eads. It's like wot Zagblitz got, but it's better dan his, obvios'ly. I also got me an ammo runt, so when da gun's goin' good, I can fire it fasta before it'z not so good any more, see? And I also gotz me a metal scalp, and some big metal plates, yeah, 'cept my stuff was made better cause I 'as more teef, yeah?

What ya meen, your burna's better dan mine?!
Oh lord, it's all about to kick off now... I'd better get through the Wierdboy entry fast.

So, the Wierdboy is the Ork psyker, he has the same statline as the Nob, but uses the table of psychic powers, and uses a random power each turn. These range from a self-centered template, to a melta attack, to his unit Deep-striking to a free Waaagh! His only option is an upgrade that lets him re-roll on the psychic table, this upgrade is a must if you ever take a Wierdboy. A definite fun HQ. I recommend putting him with a mob of Shoota boys with a Warboss, and charging headlong into the enemy

Shut yer mouth, yer zoggin' numskull!
Who yer callin' numbskull?

OK, er, a quick note on pictures, yes, they are my models, yes they aren't that good, and yes, I do need a better lightbox. I might look at the one Lantz reviewed on here.

Ur're a numbskull, numbskull!

Why ya little...

OK, guys, I gotta go, next post will continue on this with the named HQs, see ya later. ALRIGHT, BREAK IT UP!


  1. Great Post, I think letting the Orks do some more posts would be a great idea :P